So now what? A plan of attack for the first week

“You must do the things you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

I can still remember with total clarity looking around my apartment in Madrid, that first night. I had no furniture. No money. No job. No Spanish.

On the plus side, I did have: One bottle of red wine (price: €0.99). One plastic cup.One corkscrew.

Unfortunately, the corkscrew snapped off when pushed into the horrible plastic cork. And, as I sat there, useless corkscrew in hand, on the floor (no chairs) of my echoey, empty apartment,  I thought, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

Here’s what I wish there had been someone to tell me:

1. Don’t panic. Really. You got this.
2. Yes, really.
3. You really do need chairs. Chairs ARE civilization. Go buy some chairs tomorrow.
4. You have no idea how proud you’re going to be of yourself in a few months.
5. Make a plan of action.

So, just for you, here’s your very own WEEK 1 ACTION PLAN:

Mission 1: Find somewhere to live

Chances are, you are staying in temporary accommodation while you look for somewhere to live. Prioritize finding somewhere to live over anything else. Jobs/money/friends/language skills can wait until you have your very own toothbrush mug.

Start with a good old-fashioned Google search. For example, “Rooms to let in Madrid” points me to the article “The 2 main ways to find a flat, apartment or room to rent in Madrid” which lists all the main flat-hunting websites, a list of different Madrid neighborhoods, etc.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. This is just a jumping off point Just find somewhere where you’ll feel safe and comfortable for the time being – you can spend time identifying the right area, finding the ideal flatmates and so forth once you’ve found your feet.

Mission 2: Find and attend a language exchange group/Meet Up/social event

OK, a tough one– but allow me to get bossy for a moment: Just. Do.It.

It doesn’t matter what type of group – there are hundreds out there. Plus, the exercise of finding one will also bring you into contact with all kinds of useful info – the local expat paper/blog/website, a handy Facebook group, and so on.

This may be an unbelievably “not you” kind of thing to do, and that’s totally fine. Do it anyway.

You really just need to get yourself out there and meet some people. It is true you probably won’t meet your best friend – no problem. It’s more about breaking the ice and getting yourself out of your comfort zone.

If it’s a language meet-up, really don’t worry if you don’t speak much (any!) of the local lingo – the kind of people who go to these will a) probably already speak a bit of English and b) be very patient with you if you try to speak theirs.

And that’s probably enough for the first 7 days!  Good luck with it all, and as always, give us a shout in the comments if we can help in any way.

Oh, and by the way, given enough determination, you can totally push a cork into a bottle of wine using a blunt knife. Problem solved.

Written by: Rosie

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Am I doing it right?

I can’t tell you how much I’ve beaten myself up about this. We just can’t cut ourselves a break!

First you go through the incredibly challenging process of deciding whether or not you want to up-root yourself and live abroad. Then you actually go and do it, which is also hard work. Once you’re there, however, you hit a whole new type of dilemma. Are you living abroad in the RIGHT WAY?

There will be plenty of people to tell you if they think you are or not (amazingly quite a lot from those still living in your home country…)

• Go to every possible social event – a night in is a night wasted!
• Don’t go back to your home country for at least 6 months
• Live with locals
• Don’t even THINK about making friends with other expats
• Speak nothing but the new language to anyone for 4 months

Depending on what it is you are hoping to achieve, some of this advice might ring true for you. None of it is bad advice, but it is not designed to be a set of rules against which to measure your success. 

There is no right or wrong way to live abroad. It is a very personal thing and only you will know if your actions are taking you closer to, or further from, what you want to achieve.

For me, the best piece of advice was simple: Enjoy it! This is supposed to be a positive experience, something you will learn a great deal from and look back on fondly. So cut yourself some slack and have fun with it all.

A great source of inspiration is Leo Babauta’s blog: Zen Habits, which covers many topics regarding lifestyle and business. This particular quote is entrepreneurial advice for start-ups but I think can be applied here:
“Lots of times people kill themselves trying to reach a goal... The joy doesn’t come when you hit the goal…. The joy comes right now. This is the moment of greatness, of satisfaction with yourself and what you’re doing. Not later.”

http://zenhabits.net/startup/

Written by: Rosie

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Drop us an email at howtoskipthecountry@gmail.com or add a comment below - we’d love to hear from you.

Paradise Syndrome

A condition defined as dissatisfaction with oneself despite having achieved all of one’s dreams, which is said to occur in people who are so wealthy and successful they have no mountains left to climb

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Paradise+Syndrome

I was lying on a beach in Thailand watching the sunset, despondently snapping sickeningly-smug-soon-to-be-on-Facebook photos, a cold bottle of beer wedged into the sand beside me and a cigarette languidly wafting to and fro in my hands, and I felt deeply uneasy. My friend gazed at her toes thoughtfully and huffed. Here, ladies and gentleman, you have Paradise Syndrome.

In such perfection, where are we to draw our aspirations from? What minor battles are there to fight so we can bask in a minor sense of achievement? Really, when everything is as we dream it should be, why do we feel so rubbish about it? After two weeks on a beach, I went running into the jungle where I could at least hope to get a bit lost and wage war on some leeches.

It just goes to show, what we think we want, and what we actually want, are not always the same thing. No big revelation there… but in this context it is important because it is a factor when you are choosing the location you would like to move to and thinking about what it is you would like to do. Nowhere is paradise really, and yet paradise can be found everywhere. Don’t get stuck on ideals, fantasies and fairy-lands.

Wherever you choose to go, you will find it fraught with annoyances and daily irritations. Not to mention (and this is key) YOU’LL be there. And if you’re there, all your little quirks and worries will be there too.

So be realistic, think about what it is you are hoping to achieve from this move and what it is you like to do which makes you feel at your happiest and most fulfilled. The chances are that the hammock and the sunset aren’t going to cut it.

Written by: Katie

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Drop us an email at howtoskipthecountry@gmail.com or add a comment below - we’d love to hear from you.