So now what? A plan of attack for the first week

“You must do the things you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

I can still remember with total clarity looking around my apartment in Madrid, that first night. I had no furniture. No money. No job. No Spanish.

On the plus side, I did have: One bottle of red wine (price: €0.99). One plastic cup.One corkscrew.

Unfortunately, the corkscrew snapped off when pushed into the horrible plastic cork. And, as I sat there, useless corkscrew in hand, on the floor (no chairs) of my echoey, empty apartment,  I thought, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

Here’s what I wish there had been someone to tell me:

1. Don’t panic. Really. You got this.
2. Yes, really.
3. You really do need chairs. Chairs ARE civilization. Go buy some chairs tomorrow.
4. You have no idea how proud you’re going to be of yourself in a few months.
5. Make a plan of action.

So, just for you, here’s your very own WEEK 1 ACTION PLAN:

Mission 1: Find somewhere to live

Chances are, you are staying in temporary accommodation while you look for somewhere to live. Prioritize finding somewhere to live over anything else. Jobs/money/friends/language skills can wait until you have your very own toothbrush mug.

Start with a good old-fashioned Google search. For example, “Rooms to let in Madrid” points me to the article “The 2 main ways to find a flat, apartment or room to rent in Madrid” which lists all the main flat-hunting websites, a list of different Madrid neighborhoods, etc.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. This is just a jumping off point Just find somewhere where you’ll feel safe and comfortable for the time being – you can spend time identifying the right area, finding the ideal flatmates and so forth once you’ve found your feet.

Mission 2: Find and attend a language exchange group/Meet Up/social event

OK, a tough one– but allow me to get bossy for a moment: Just. Do.It.

It doesn’t matter what type of group – there are hundreds out there. Plus, the exercise of finding one will also bring you into contact with all kinds of useful info – the local expat paper/blog/website, a handy Facebook group, and so on.

This may be an unbelievably “not you” kind of thing to do, and that’s totally fine. Do it anyway.

You really just need to get yourself out there and meet some people. It is true you probably won’t meet your best friend – no problem. It’s more about breaking the ice and getting yourself out of your comfort zone.

If it’s a language meet-up, really don’t worry if you don’t speak much (any!) of the local lingo – the kind of people who go to these will a) probably already speak a bit of English and b) be very patient with you if you try to speak theirs.

And that’s probably enough for the first 7 days!  Good luck with it all, and as always, give us a shout in the comments if we can help in any way.

Oh, and by the way, given enough determination, you can totally push a cork into a bottle of wine using a blunt knife. Problem solved.

Written by: Rosie

Got a question for us? Want to share your own experiences?

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Am I doing it right?

I can’t tell you how much I’ve beaten myself up about this. We just can’t cut ourselves a break!

First you go through the incredibly challenging process of deciding whether or not you want to up-root yourself and live abroad. Then you actually go and do it, which is also hard work. Once you’re there, however, you hit a whole new type of dilemma. Are you living abroad in the RIGHT WAY?

There will be plenty of people to tell you if they think you are or not (amazingly quite a lot from those still living in your home country…)

• Go to every possible social event – a night in is a night wasted!
• Don’t go back to your home country for at least 6 months
• Live with locals
• Don’t even THINK about making friends with other expats
• Speak nothing but the new language to anyone for 4 months

Depending on what it is you are hoping to achieve, some of this advice might ring true for you. None of it is bad advice, but it is not designed to be a set of rules against which to measure your success. 

There is no right or wrong way to live abroad. It is a very personal thing and only you will know if your actions are taking you closer to, or further from, what you want to achieve.

For me, the best piece of advice was simple: Enjoy it! This is supposed to be a positive experience, something you will learn a great deal from and look back on fondly. So cut yourself some slack and have fun with it all.

A great source of inspiration is Leo Babauta’s blog: Zen Habits, which covers many topics regarding lifestyle and business. This particular quote is entrepreneurial advice for start-ups but I think can be applied here:
“Lots of times people kill themselves trying to reach a goal... The joy doesn’t come when you hit the goal…. The joy comes right now. This is the moment of greatness, of satisfaction with yourself and what you’re doing. Not later.”

http://zenhabits.net/startup/

Written by: Rosie

Got a question for us? Want to share your own experiences?
Drop us an email at howtoskipthecountry@gmail.com or add a comment below - we’d love to hear from you.

Paradise Syndrome

A condition defined as dissatisfaction with oneself despite having achieved all of one’s dreams, which is said to occur in people who are so wealthy and successful they have no mountains left to climb

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Paradise+Syndrome

I was lying on a beach in Thailand watching the sunset, despondently snapping sickeningly-smug-soon-to-be-on-Facebook photos, a cold bottle of beer wedged into the sand beside me and a cigarette languidly wafting to and fro in my hands, and I felt deeply uneasy. My friend gazed at her toes thoughtfully and huffed. Here, ladies and gentleman, you have Paradise Syndrome.

In such perfection, where are we to draw our aspirations from? What minor battles are there to fight so we can bask in a minor sense of achievement? Really, when everything is as we dream it should be, why do we feel so rubbish about it? After two weeks on a beach, I went running into the jungle where I could at least hope to get a bit lost and wage war on some leeches.

It just goes to show, what we think we want, and what we actually want, are not always the same thing. No big revelation there… but in this context it is important because it is a factor when you are choosing the location you would like to move to and thinking about what it is you would like to do. Nowhere is paradise really, and yet paradise can be found everywhere. Don’t get stuck on ideals, fantasies and fairy-lands.

Wherever you choose to go, you will find it fraught with annoyances and daily irritations. Not to mention (and this is key) YOU’LL be there. And if you’re there, all your little quirks and worries will be there too.

So be realistic, think about what it is you are hoping to achieve from this move and what it is you like to do which makes you feel at your happiest and most fulfilled. The chances are that the hammock and the sunset aren’t going to cut it.

Written by: Katie

Got a question for us? Want to share your own experiences? 

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Decision-making (or Locating the Cojones)

Sometimes the hardest thing, and the cause of most procrastination, is actually taking an active decision.

In this context I mean a concrete, tangible decision with a clear goal and action points. A vague decision to ‘move abroad one day’ just won’t do.

Doing this is SCARY. As soon as you make a decision you are ruling out other options and, inevitably, some doors do close. But the feeling of relief you have, once you have taken the decision and started to act accordingly, goes way beyond the scary feelings you have when wavering at the crossroads with your brain busily firing different scenarios at you.

The temptation is to stall. The timing isn’t great: maybe one more year at this job/what about the flat you own/the puppy you’ve just bought… It is very rare that the ‘perfect timing’ shows itself to you. Whenever you decide to leave, it will probably be difficult and inconvenient for at least someone (most likely you), but that’s no reason not to do it.

The worst thing you can do is not make any decision and live in a perpetual state of neither one thing nor the other. Remember: Not taking a decision IS a decision. If you don’t choose, life will choose for you. And the longer you leave it, the harder it will become.

I have a friend who returned from travelling fired up to move abroad somewhere where she could perfect her Spanish. She took a job in London to fund her next adventure. But time ticked by without her ever taking the active decision to fulfil her dream. Finally, some years later she told me that her window had passed. By not doing anything she had inadvertently made permanent what was supposed to be her interim.

I’m afraid no one can help you make your decision, or tell you what to decide. Should you stay or should you go? Only you can know.

For some great advice on decision making, take a look at Zen Habits:  

http://zenhabits.net/life-decisions/

Then take some deep breaths and go with your gut.

Written by: Katie

Got a question for us? Want to share your own experiences? 

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family business. skipping with kids

So, Katie and Rosie seem pretty determined to send “all the single ladies” - and all you “middle-aged-with-no-attachments-dudes” too  - off to far-flung countries. It’s for your own good, people!

And they apparently claim that guts is all it takes. You are ready for it, we know it...and you know it, so moooove and skip the country people! What are you waiting for?

Leave some room for us on your planes though.

We, the forty-somethings, with family and baggage attached, might want a piece of the cake too, you know?

Take me, for example. I have skipped back and forth a few times, and old habits die hard… 

My conscience: But, wait a minute...don't you have kids, a mortgage, a relatively stable job?

My inner skipper: So what? Is this the end of my journey then? Or the end of my wife’s journey, even with a new career path to explore? Is this it for our kids? Don´t you think that perhaps our kids could totally benefit from experiencing different cultures, learning new languages...

Conscience: What if they don´t like the changes…?

Skipper: Even if that means a bit of discomfort at the beginning, making new friends should not be a problem and they will be settled down and speaking a foreign language before we know it. In no time at all, they’ll have stopped looking back,  and hopefully they’ll thank us in the future for taking the right decision.

Imagine what it would be like for them to grow up as skippers…Five years here, five years there…I know that sounds a bit extreme, but why not?

Conscience: Hold on a minute! If you skip, everybody will think you are crazy…

Skipper:  Your life shouldn't be dictated by society’s rules, by what others might think is “the right thing to do”. You and your family are the only ones to make that call, and the best ones to know what you want to live and stand for.

As long as you all understand that, and as a family agree together, on what you want to achieve by skipping, you are ready for your life’s next chapter.

Conscience:

Alright, alright! I give up. One last question...what if the kids don't want to go?

Skippers: I knew you’d bring that up.

The answer is simple...you pull out the trump card.

I AM YOUR FATHER!

Let the force be with you, skipper families ;)

Written by : Gus

Got a question for us? Want to share your own experiences? 

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Working in your new location

"It is a bad plan that admits of no modification."— PubliliusSyrus, 1stCentury BC

Your career plan can be one of the biggest impediments to skipping the country. You may have a job you love that you’ll need to leave. You may have clear ideas about where your career is going, and be reluctant to mess with the schedule. You may have no idea what you could do when you get to your new destination.For the first two worries, take a look at this post.

For what to do when you get there, here are some thoughts to get you started:

1 ) Stay in your current job

These days, companies are far more flexible about remote work. Please don’t instantly dismiss this as a possibility. There’s no harm in asking! Take it slowly, demonstrate greater productivity outside the office than in, and negotiate convincingly.

For a wonderful, step-by-step guide to how negotiate remote working with your current boss see Tim Ferriss’ “Four Hour Workweek”, Chapter 12.

2 ) Consider teaching English

You lucky, lucky person. You are already fluent in the most in-demand language in the world. English teaching is one of those jobs that you can pick up, anywhere in the world.  
Some tips:

1. Don’t assume you have to do a TEFL. TEFL can be a great way to get your confidence up, but it’s also costly and time-consuming. Many private language schools will accept native English speakers with any university degree.
2. You don’t have to teach kids. Business English teaching tends to be better paid and less demanding.
3. You don’t have to teach big classes. Many business people prefer one-to-one classes during working hours.
4. Look out for schools that offer paid training or free teaching resources, so you won’t be going in cold.
5. Don’t assume that taking a teaching job when you first arrive means kissing your career plans goodbye. English teaching can be highly rewarding.  It is an intense training course in public speaking, sales, communications and intercultural studies. And, if you go down the Business English route, can also be a great way to network with professionals in a wide range of industries.

3 ) Find work before you go.

This is a lot easier than it used to be. Some ideas:

1. Plan a short mid-week trip and visit some recruitment agencies.
2. Invest some time in LinkedIn.
3. If you speak the local language, check out the Classified section of the local paper.
4. Check the local embassies and consulates for job opportunities.
5. Take a look at worldwide employment sites – for example:

http://xpatjobs.com/

http://www.Monster.com

http://www.angloinfo.com/

http://jobs.expatica.com/

4 )Find work when you get there
This is perhaps the scariest option, but can also be the most practical, if you have some savings to live on for the first few months. It gives you time to look around you, join some local networking groups, get to know the language, and spend some time enjoying your new home before the daily 9-5 kicks in.

Written by: Rosie

Got a question for us? Want to share your own experiences? 

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Guilt guilt guilt

This is a tricky one and, before I start I ought to add a disclaimer. Not everyone is as free to move abroad on a whim as they might wish (those with dependents may not find it so easy, for example). Therefore, we are not advocating turning your back on responsibilities and running for the hills. But I would argue that those of us who are free have a responsibility to live life as fully as possible, to take risks and embrace every opportunity.

Here’s the challenging bit: beware the cozy blanket of self-imposed obligation. Sometimes ‘being needed’ is a self-perpetuating comfort zone based on misplaced guilt and fear. Those you feel you ‘simply must be around for’ might be mortified to think that they were responsible for stopping you from doing something you wanted to do.

Examine your situation and be honest with yourself. Do these people really need you around? Or are you hiding behind the idea that they do, just a tiny little bit…?

You’ll know the answer.

Written by: Katie

Got a question for us? Want to share your own experiences? 

Drop us an email at howtoskipthecountry@gmail.com or add a comment below - we’d love to hear from you.

New Year’s Resolution

I was having a drink with a Spanish friend yesterday who is contemplating skipping the country herself and had hit that inevitable brick wall of Timing. When is the right moment? Is there EVER a right moment?

For most the answer is usually a bit of both: It is ALWAYS the right moment but at the same time the timing is never quite right. There is always something to stay for – that possible promotion (if I just stick this out for one more year…), too many social commitments, a family member or friend in the middle of a crisis, a relationship that might get better if given a bit more time…

Some of these are good reasons, others are stalling factors. Be honest with yourself and remember: One year down the line there will be just many reasons to stay for one more year.

You might find (as was the experience with many that I spoke to) that suddenly it just becomes blindingly obvious that the time is now.  

For me it was the offer of a promotion which would lock me into a 3 year contract which set off a foghorn in my head: Now or NEVER!

It is helpful to have a catalyst but your job is to recognise it when it comes along and not drown it out with excuses. If you want to go, GO!

Make 2014 the year you finally took the leap.

And a very Happy New Year to one and all!

Written by: Katie.

Got a question for us? Want to share your own experiences? 

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